“If these words were people, I would embrace their genocide”

Everyone’s favourite pirate wants to banish buzzwords such as:Blogging: If minds had anuses, blogging would be what your mind would do when it had to take a dump.Podcast: Someone had the revolutionary idea of taking a compressed audio file and putting it online. Yeah, doesn’t sound so sexy when I describe it for what it is, does it you morons? It would have been a great idea if streaming audio wasn’t already around for over a decade before the word “podcast” entered the lexicon. Man, I can’t stand the word “lexicon.” Talking about all these shitty words has made me start using shitty words. I’m so pissed, I just slammed the door shut on some kid’s nuts.iPodder: A pompous ass who thinks he’s eclectic. Wake up asshole: you’re not living in an iPod commercial. You can’t dance. Everything you listen to sucks. Get a job.URL (as pronounced “ERL”): Few things invoke more contempt for humanity than someone who pronounces URL as “erl.” It’s an acronym, not a word you douche! Between people who say “erl” and programmers who pronounce char (an abbreviation for character) as “chär” (with the “ch” pronounced like in “chart”), I get so pissed that I just want to saw my arms off.Metrosexual: A gay guy still in the closet. This word is so contemptible that even the man who coined it has since apologized for being such a douche. I cringe every time I hear this word.

2005.07.27