100 Things You Need to Know About Women
100 things you need to know about women. From Maxim Online, which means at least 40% of the list is sexist, 40% of it you should already know unless you’re a 40-year old virgin, and the remaining 20% will teach you something.
- 94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
- 89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
- 82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.
- 75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.
- 73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn’t get laid, you’re one of the 10.
- 72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice
- 70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.
- 67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”
- 66. They can’t live without tension. Every once in a while she’s gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
- 57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.
- 52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.
- 46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.
- 41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.
- 30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21
- 23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.
- 2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.